A grumpy little post

Disclaimer: This blog is written by a real person. One who likes curries and champagne, holidays and occasionally  pink dresses. One who likes the sense of achievement of finishing things but also likes the indulgence of a catnap, a spontaneous lifestyle and the odd bit of hedonism, romance or just something other than 24-7 pure grit. If you want a blog that makes half ironman training romantic, then look elsewhere. If you want a blog with inspirational photos over inspirational words then there are plenty of those. My most commonly used inspiration is a video of dozens of Ironmen fainting, collapsing, vomiting and crying. Because that's what it's like - and that's not just on race day. 

Today is an icky bitty annoying day. I've been working from home as we're on contingency mode. And it's my first day working for a new commissioner so it's been a bit messy co-ordinating those two things. Plus it's a strength and conditioning day which I need to do from home now - again a bit of juggling. Us multisports gotta stick to a system rigidly or it all goes out of whack. Speaking of which, I blew last night's turbo session for some romance. Uh huh. I know Chrissie W said triathletes don't have a romantic life but it's not quite spring training season yet..! So I needed to fit two training sessions in today, juggling essentially a new job, which I'm doing from home but I also need desperately to get to a doctor because 1) I still have an upset stomach which has been happening for three weeks now 2) I have folliculitis that would drop an elephant. Oh yeah, you get all the details on this blog people.  Despite these ailments, I'm still trying to get a leg over the bike, squeeze in 30 minutes here, nip to the docs, get 30 minutes there, draft policy documents, take a phone call, do the dishes, plan the weekend's training, have a meeting, deal with inept parcel delivery companies and then squeeze in weights all before lunch. I ended up falling asleep. 

I woke up, did some of those things, and then had a little internal cry. I am tired. Absolutely dog tired. Not an "I can't run further tired", not an "I am dehydrated tired", not "my muscles ache from the gym" tired but really freaking constantly tired tired. There are so many types of tired in multisport training. I realised I long to have my life back. I long for spontaneity, running for fun, or training for fun. I miss the variety of my life: my passion for charities, volunteering, social justice. My thirst for exploring, travelling, languages, cooking, eating out, drinking wine, hanging with friends, talking to friends. I miss having money to spend on things other than chamois creme and bike bits. I miss having the time, energy, freedom for life. I miss not being able to concentrate so damn much which is a result of two sports being completely new to me.

Don’t get me wrong, especially all those inspirational runner types who bark “you gotta want it!” Of course I want it, I wouldn’t be doing all this if I didn’t. But that doesn’t mean it’s hard and it doesn’t mean you’re not entitled to a day of whinge. No, I think I deserve one. I’m terrible at telling myself when enough is enough. I ran 14 miles days after a high grade fever and spent the next night in A and E. I once got caught by Jon retching more than three times after insisting I was fine on a run. I’ve run with shoes off to complete a long run when blisters kicked in. But sometimes you need to say “You can’t do everything right now.”

So that’s my ranty blog over. I’m going to avoid even cleaning up the gym, ignore the weather forecasting snow that will throw my whole weekend training schedule out and take out the recycling, buy some coconut milk and maybe a meat pie. Because these are things normal people do. I’m going to try that for a few hours before lowering myself into the basement gym and deciding whether I can do another 30 minutes at heart rate zone two followed by, plyometrics, core work, weights work. And let’s not forget getting into the zone for a decent length run tomorrow. Oh wait, I’ve got ahead of myself. Back to the coconut milk and normal life just briefly...