A thank you to last year's donors

I've just finished writing and messaging to my donors last year but some of them are on twitter - I know - that's the state of the modern world, I only have @addresses for them! So this is what I'm tweeting to them:

A thank you and an apology :) 

Hi 

I wanted to thank you all for what we’ve achieved over the last year. We? Yes, you, me and Freedom from Torture! About 12 months ago, you kindly sponsored me to do some crazy running. I wanted to let you know about how that money helped. There’s a list on their website of what your donation can “buy” but I really wanted to let you know about an individual’s story. As you're probably aware it’s never as cut and dry as £10 buys a goat – people’s needs are complex- as this story of a Freedom from Torture’s client illustrates.

I also wanted to apologise in advance if you receive further tweets and emails from me as I’ll be sending out blanket emails to everyone in my inbox ahead of my next fundraising venture, a half Ironman triathlon. I don’t expect any of you to support me again – unless your stocks and shares are doing very well! – but I will point out something about Freedom from Torture. In addition to their excellent work, they have some excellent events, from cooking with famous chefs, classical music, comedy and gigs. They’ve got an e newsletter you can sign up to – and if you did that, I can guarantee the emails are more regular and informative than my own! 

Thank you again for all your support last year and please, take a moment from your busy inbox to read about Malaika – a real woman who has been touched by your donation.

With best wishes
Rowena, swim bike running for Freedom from Torture. 

In 1999, when she was three months pregnant, Malaika was arrested along with her eight year old son, as a reaction to the political beliefs of her husband, who opposed the government. During her imprisonment, she was kicked, punched and beaten in front of her son, as she was interrogated about her husband’s activities. After her release, Malaika suffered a miscarriage.

She was briefly deported from Ethiopia to a camp in Eritrea before being arrested once more. Again she was beaten, this time by Eritrean police, stripped naked, repeatedly raped and urinated upon. While she was released on bail she saw her opportunity to escape and fled to the UK, but was unable to take her son with her. Her husband, who was also tortured and beaten by both Ethiopian and Eritrean law enforcement officials, later committed suicide.

When Malaika first began her sessions with a Freedom from Torture case worker / counsellor she was in a terrible condition, both physically and psychologically. A lack of secure housing added to her state of insecurity. However thanks to the unstinting efforts of her counsellor and case worker Malaika is began to rediscover a sense of security and hope. In addition to providing counselling, her case worker has also helped to secure her a ground floor local authority flat that meets her mobility needs. The calcium deficiency bone condition she lives with as a result of malnutrition during her years as a prisoner and refugee is now finally being treated, with further medical investigations to follow. She has also commenced studies in ICT at a local college – a sign, as her case worker puts it, that she is “moving on”.

Most significantly, Malaika is now ready to recommence the search for her son. She was involuntarily separated from him when she fled from an Eritrean refugee camp. Believing he is still in Africa, Malaika and her case worker are working with the Red Cross to try to locate him. Malaika had initiated a search for her son before, but found the process unbearably painful and stopped it when she received news of death of her father , who was also in a refugee camp. For some clients, the therapy offered by our skilled clinicians can mean the difference between life and death. Malaika states unequivocally that had she not been in therapy with one of our caseworkers at the time she received news of her father’s death, the grief and guilt she felt would have spurred her to take her own life. She added that her decision to resume the search for her son and her general ability to “move on” are because of her case worker’s committed care and support. Malaika has also spoken of how touched she is by the generosity of Freedom from Torture supporters.

Since Freedom from Torture was established in 1985, over 50,000 individuals like Malaika have been referred to the organisation for help. Thank you for helping them rebuild their lives.

Running a half with the other half.

Back in the day when I started training we assigned Jon as my run coach and pace setter because he was faster than me. We pottered about in the rain and cold and snow and then I entered Blackpool Half Marathon (April 7) with a goal to run sub 2 hours. We drafted up a bit of a training schedule but Jon drafted an entire Ultra running project and so we ran only once a fortnight together. Then he got a calf injury and I ran alone. As the winter nights had seen me run into a jerk that tried to grab me, and another jerk that threatened me, I wasn't keen on running alone so I did one run with the Saddleworth Running group who are very nice and varied and I like the sound of the beers after. Jon and I managed a 10k run after work where I set my sub 60 personal best and he coaxed me through a longer more whingey run one weekend and the next thing we knew, he and his dodgy calf and I were off to Blackpool.

To say I was nervous was no exaggeration. Not of the race, as I'd done lots of half marathons and plenty of more challenging runs, but about whether or not we'd finish the race arguing, or annoyed! Asking your other half to coach you is a big ask and making them responsible for your time ambition when they have their own injury adds to that. Not to mention we had only run together a couple of times - anything could happen.

Fortunately the worst that did happen was that I left Jon in charge of checking the weather and he checked the forecast a week prior so we were dressed for a warm and sunny day whereas everyone else was more prepared for the wind chill and sub 5C temperatures! No worries, his frozen hands came back to life the next day and I didn't really mind running from the car to the start and back again a few times as a warm up!

The day before, I had done my most challenging 55 mile ride wiht a group of faaast Bad Girls and I had not fuelled well. So my biggest dilemma on the race was needing food. This was pretty manageable though because I had been suffering from pins and needles from a bothered tarsal nerve which often meant massage mid run or completely stopping. Or doing serious damage. This only raised it's head once and Jon used the chance to talk me into a quick massage while he had a loo break (I know, you never see marathon pacers have a pee!). 

We finished in 1:54 or something like that with a smile on our faces, breath to talk, and my own burning ambition to pass every other woman in front of me and the finish line. Jon did well to amuse me during the race (not that hard when dodgy hotels offered "heating swimming poos" and nipple-tassled ice skaters adorned advertising billboards) and he says that was his deliberate coaching tactic! I do believe him because I do train a lot with my head, as the rest of my muscles are quite useless! So smiling and laughing through the race was a good way to get the result I wanted. 

Here we are looking beautiful. Jon looks sleepy as this is so easy for him. I look perky because that's what I do when I see a camera! And is it just me or do I have enormous tri thighs now!?

Oh and Jon says to remind you people that I'm not doing this for fun, I'm doing this for Freedom from Torture so please consider buying us a pint at http://www.justgiving.com/halfirongirl 

Word of the day: sportive

I cycled in the rain today. I mean spring showers are one thing but we've not even had any spring weather so spare me the torrential Merseyside rain. The closer I got to Liverpool the worse it was. I hear that applies to more than just the weather. Anyway, as my ride was so pitiful (2:30hr) I shall blog about my first sportive. 

So a sportive is not a cycle race but it is. You are timed and given that time and there is a start and a finish. The roads are open to traffic, and there are points where officials give you an energy gel and a flapjack. This is different from an audax or randonee (a cycling sport in which participants attempt to cycle long distances within a pre-defined time limit. Audax is a non-competitive sport: success in an event is measured by its completion. It has checkpoints, and you navigate your own way to them and at the checkpoint you eat cake.)

Anyway the important thing about this one was it was 60 miles, had sign posts, flapjacks and sausages at the end. 

I ended up meeting with some folk from Team Glow. A couple of people hadn't done the distance before and so met my nerves with their own statements of noviceness but actually when it came to it they were off like jack rabbits while I was still hoping I had clipped my feet in correctly. 

It was my first UK ride with my clip in shoes and I was pleased I didn't fall off, result. I also didn't get lost - despite  a few signs getting waylaid and I almost had a good time! I was ready to come home at the last 10km especially with all the traffic and Cheshire roads need to get their potholes filled. 

The day took me 5:02:28 - if I had known I maybe would have made more of an effort but actually the day was about confidence rather than speed. I was also grateful to end up with the company of Autumn, a rider whose head I had run over in a previous Team Glow escapade who helped me through the last of the traffic. 

A nice final long ride before Mallorca.  Importantly the bratwurst was very good so good I had two massive hot dogs of them filled with boiled onions and then ran 8kms. I know... 

Process goals

Following on from the brilliant Ironplanner race resume, I now present to you the concept of process goals, mantras, themes and magic from the same book. A process goal is a specific rule you make for yourself that address only things you have control of (so nothing to do with weather or time). The aim is to give you things to focus on based on technique... Based on their examples I've come up with these, which will probably be written on my transition bags!

Swim process goals:

• Calm glide
• Sit high in water
• Arms land at shoulders width

Transition 1

• walk out of water calmly
• drink and eat
• Make my skin comfortable
• Use the loo!

Bike 

• calm start
• Fuel every 30 minutes
• Be prepared for the climb

For the climb 

• Patient steady climb, looking down and pedalling
• don't stop
• Feed at top

For the descent

• Light braking with reason
• Keep right
• Calm and reasonable - I am in control

T2

• Be calm, take time and stretch
• Fuel and drink
• Make me skin comfortable. 

Run:

• Take food and fuel every 30 minutes
• Steady first half
• reason with pain, what's really the problem?
• Smile

My mantras:

• Run: Light, easy, smoothe. 
• Till I collapse
• Just keep swimming
• For the descent: I'm confident and in control. 
• Up hill: I think I can, I know I can
• Swim: glide, calm
• Run: tippy tappy tippy tappy
• Smile. Enjoy. 

Race theme: ironplanner suggests you create a theme for the day which makes it sound enjoyable rather than scary! So.. 

The swim is like a Swimtrek holiday adventure, exploring new Mediterranean islands.  The bike is a climb to the best views and a fun and relaxing descent towards beautiful villages. The run is alongside my loved ones to bask in the crowd's support. At the end is a beginning to a new adventure. 

My magic: (for energy boosts)

• lungs that can breathe easily and calmy
• Cool breeze that takes the heat away
• Laughter that erases pain
• Lightness so my legs feel nothing. 

Tired

I am very very tired. I'm probably on the lowest training I've had for six months and getting the most sleep. Jon's doing literally everything around the house now and I am still SO tired. The tiredest ever, more tired than after a 60mile but a deep in my muscles tired.

I'll never give up on race day ever. I'd walk, carry my bike, all sorts to get home. But gosh these 8 days of "lighter training" feel a chore.

I went out for a 2:45 bike ride and 1 hour run. I was freaked out by traffic and had to come back. I've treated myself to a hot shower as I am a bit stiff after yesterday's ace swim and realised I feel like I am coming down with something. So I ate a pack of minstrels and ecinecea! I'll run and bike this afternoon, even though it means hurtling down the East Lancashire Highway - at least they have a cycle lane.

More cheery posts to follow.

Race resume

The excellent book Ironplanner recommends doing a race resume to total up your experience and keep you calm and focussed when you panic that you have not done enough. 

I've not yet totalled up all my training mileage but here's my Race Resume to date... 


Rowena Harding: Ironman Mallorca 70.3 Race resume

Objective: Finish 70.3 distance before the cut off times

Education: 
• Swim camp in Lanzarote with Swim for Tri: 7 days, 7 swims
• Technique lessons with Uswim in open water and 50m pool
• Coaching with Ironman Nice finisher
• Watt bike training session with Triathlon Online
• Bike coaching session with Niklas Cook
• Seminars: Chrissie Wellingotn, Andy Mouncey
• Running School lessons
• 19 weeks of coached training

Achievements:
• 4 marathons: 2 road and 2 off road
• 1 Ultra of 32+ miles
• Can run for more than 6 hours!
• Half marathons: road and trail
• 1 sprint tri
• 1 duathlon: off road
• Eton 750m open water race
• Swimathon
• 60 mile sportive

Personal attributes:

• Commitment: I stuck to training plans during holidays, personal life, change
• Mental strength: I won’t give up and  I preserver through physical fatigue and keep smiling
• My spirit doesn’t tell the time: I focus on what I can achieve
• I am brave and I have performed outside my comfort zone many times. 
• I am determined to finish and stubborn
• I can prove I can do long endurance events. 
• I can be very positive in the face of adversity. 
• I don’t panic in open water or mass swim starts. 
• I run negative splits. 

Experience: 

• I have rode over nearly all of the Ironman Mallorca bike course twice on roads open to traffic, in warm weather, with little fuel and using clip ins for first time. I have also tackled some of the course with cross winds. 
• I have swum the Ironman Mallorca swim course and swum in the water whenb cold, and choppy with wind. 
• I have swum in dark cold open water at Lakeside, Eton (with fog in the morning!) and Salford. 
• I have run flat hot roads including part of the Ironman Mallorca course, Berlin in 27C and Athens. 

Motivation:
• Even if I finish last, I will be a finisher. 
• I am one of a small number of women who compete in this sport
• Once I have completed the distance, no one can take that way. 
• This will be the hardest physical and mental athletic challenge I have completed
• I have learned things about myself and I will learn more about myself
• I have raised awareness and funds based on my beliefs and values
• I have committed to the training thorough a lot of change. 
• A lot of people believe in me and have invested in me. 

One of those down dog moments that I am allowed to have as it's my blog right?!

I'm not sure what the limits on painkillers are but today I'm testing them. They are making me sleepy. Or at least I am sleepy. I'm writing this while waiting for the microwave at work. I originally wrote that I am waiting for the photocopier. I can't concentrate till I eat, but I can't eat till I get to the photocopier.

Today, as well as dozy and dizzy I am mostly overwhelmed. I thought we had moved through that phase already. I feel very alone. And small.

While I am totally gutted for them, I really miss that I have lost a twitter partner in crime in training, someone who works as hard as I do to motivate themselves into the pool onto the bike. None of this rah rah smash it 24.7 just a real person also trying desperately hard to be a real triathlete. It makes me a kind of awful person that in some one else's misfortune I can think of myself.

Jon did marvellously at his ultra despite having low training in the last three weeks. I could never imagine doing lighter training than intended and finishing such a big endurance event where a lot of people DNF or DNS and come 18th! He is amazing. I am very proud. But also daunted. You know, someone who is that strong naturally isn't going to understand why you hyperventilate when you miss 3 training sessions in a row. Again, it makes me a kind of awful person that in someone else's glory I can think of myself.

So continuing the theme of my self obsession, this morning I am dog tired - no bed till after 11pm when I should have got myself at least 8 hours sleep. I am very sore; I fell down the stairs after my ride and run yesterday compounding back pain to create a pull muscle, hence ibuprofen high. I am not able to focus well at work but I am able to focus acutely on:

• not having the kit I want to race in
• not having my fuel plan
• having to think of a way to record my online training plan so I can focus on what I have achieved and save it for posterity
• wondering if I have booked post race accommodation.
• Spending time reviewing all the to do lists to see what I have forgotten
• fundraising plans
• making spectator plans
• getting into contact with mum - my support and benefactor
• and a million other things that make the plan come together.

Anyway I think the microwave is free now. I might go stick my head in it.