The last training run

The plan today was to run my final and longest run (40km) using part of the Capital Ring as the Capital Ring is the walking path that the London Ultra will follow. I didn't want to use any of the route so I chose the path nearest to my place: Greenford across to Highgate.

The Capital Ring for you Northerners is described as a "strategic walk". Now that to me sounds like it would be useful for connecting people to amenities. However it's a circular walk that connects you with random places that at times are quite pretty so I'd be tempted to call it a scenic walk. Except it being London, it's as scenic as scenic as can be with an upturned trolley and a dead cat somewhere in your vision.

While the Capital Ring is circular a bit like the M25, it's anything but linear so the route constantly dog legs and goes up hills and past some nice Georgian building or some house where Peter Sellers lived so if you were a Rambler, you could marvel at such stuff. As a runner it means (certainly on the route I did) that you end up changing terrain every 2kms and switchbacking like a rabid dog. Or do they do straight lines? Anyway you get my drift.

So after about 15km on the canal path I turned off for Greenford and immediately found the green signs that mark the Capital Ring. If you're lucky you get a big sign that actually fits some words in. If not, you get a small circle the size of an apple, somewhere at hip level with an arrow at a jaunty angle which you must follow precisely especially when it appears to lead to nowhere. I'm going to sleep tonight with those fluro green discs dancing in front of my closed eyes. My first Capital Ring sign presented two options: Capital Ring and Alternative Route - what a decision already?! I stuck with the main route and find myself heading instantly up Horsenden Hill.

Ah Horsenden Hill - the clue is in the name, and it wasn't that there are horses. It's 279ft higher than I'd like it to be and cut with those crazy steps that don't match anyone's leg gait. I had to walk em.

In writing this blog, I've just learned that this is the hilliest section of the Capital Ring. Bravo me. The little Capital Ring guide also tells me I may have to climb a style. Oh yes I know that now. And what kept me going was that this bit isn't in this year's Ultra and was in last year's and those poor souls would have had to climb these hills about 35km in.

Next hill, Subury. And then another hill! This time Harrow Hill (408ft). I've never been to Harrow before and it was a bit exciting. Fortunately none of the posh privileged brats were about so I could admire the buildings and the number of signs saying "Matron" and feel a bit like I was in Oxford. I might return there one day for a looksee as we don't really have things like that in Australia (old posh schools; I'm sure we've got privileged rich brats now)

Then I got lost. I think this was Lostness No 1 or 2 - and kept running past some old ladies at a bus stop so many times - and I am sure they were commenting that I wasn't dressed for the weather, only it being London, they didn't speak English. The reason I got lost was because I looked at this footpath called Ducker Footpath and laughed as it was clearly a trolley dumping ground. I didn't realise it was actually a footpath till I had run kms away from it and returned, picking through the trolleys and rubbish in the prestigious alley named after Churchill's Swimming Pool. I kid you not.

Next adventure was Fryent Country Park which was determined to suck my shoes into the mud The squelching sounds were great and I skidded along the down hills but the slipping down the uphills was less successful. I had a great laugh and many dogs thought I was weird. I climbed up Barn Hill (282ft) - whoever designed the Capital Ring likes a good view - there was probably a stonking view of Wembley in the mist and some Ramblers told me to stop and admire it but they don't have to work with my quads after a stop so I ran backwards for a bit and said "very pretty" before squelching into mud through my sneakers and into my socks. Mmmm.

Then a bit of running through some suburbs, Brent Reservoir, which I'd walked along before so just wanted to get through it and past some silly girls insisting on playing badminton in the middle of the path. I ask you.

Then you run alongside the Brent River which you can't really admire, not least for the dead cats but the roar of the North Circular around you. Then you get spat into Hampstead Garden Suburb where it's all lots of money and gardeners poking out of manicured hedges when you are peptalking yourself to the next X many kms. Am I the only runner who talks to themselves?

Very quickly I was onto Highgate Wood and I don't think I've ever been so excited to be somewhere I don't actually want to be. I had only 1 km to run and I noticed that what I thought was my station was just outside the park on a hill - so I looped round the park - came out to the station, realised the station wasn't at all where I thought and kept running-waddling to the station where I realised I'd run 41.1km. Well there was only one thing to do. I ran the length of Highgate Underground station carpark a few times and completed a marathon!

What I learned today

I could do with more cardio fitness: swimming during taper fortnight then.

I could do with more trail running experience: next time

I could certainly do with more hill running: will make my last 'little' runs on hills

Running on mud takes some special talent. I don't have it.

Running over trails is certainly the way to make 42kms fly by.

I can stomach 'real food' on my long runs.

I'm not too bad with a map.

I could do with a decent warm up routine before running.

And there are a lot of hills in North London.

What I didn't learn was why I keep getting a stitch at the beginning of my run and how to run uphill on slippery mud.

Today...

Today I am willing to sacrifice my toenails. All of them if need be.

Today I will do away with lunch and morning and afternoon tea. I will suck gels from foil, suck in pain, suck ventolin, chew painkillers. I will push through fatigue and dizziness and thirst, and most definitely hamburger cravings.

I will get covered in mud and goosebumps and the salt marks of a long subtle sweat.

I will sing in public and punch the air. I will probably stifle a sob, I might cry and I may even swear.

I will channel the spirit of friends long gone, and shake my fist to the sky for inspiring me to be out here.

Today I will make my mother cry, my father proud. I will run for people who can't and everyone I know icing an injury. Today I will thank my friends and supporters for their faith in me. Today I will honour people who have been tortured and the people who work to support them. I will not let them down.

Today I will push myself harder than I have before: mentally and physically. I will redefine what I know is possible and what I think is impossible. Every label that ever existed, I will have thrown that away today. I'll change what you think about me. And more importantly, I'll change what I think about myself.

Today I will.

Friday night

Carb loading, water drinking, mind focussing.

I've mapped out my run: from my place to Greenford (via the Grand Union Canal) and then following the Capital Ring to Highgate. I've mapped out 42.195kms, though I need only to run 40kms. And a few ultra runners have said 20miles would be just fine.

I've got my run plan, my energy, my mantra. I'm really excited. This will be the last run over 14 miles and it feels like I am one step away from the start line. And, the miracle isn't that I finish, it's that I had the courage to start.

I feel like I 'can do' tomorrow and holding that feeling seems to be the most brilliant thing.

Let's do it.

How long is a piece of string?

So one of the things I hate about running is the maths. There's the miles to kilometre conversion. Then there's the pace maths: 6 minutes per km is what per hour? Is how many kms per minute? What is that in miles? Then there's calculating running time, splits etc.

Anyway this is why I was doing random math on a bar coaster this afternoon.

I had, inspired by @canteenrun, though that I could do a 5:25 finish - but that's one hour and five minutes for every ten kms of distance. Easy peasy for a ten km, but five of them with navigation?!

So I checked the race website and found out that for a woman to finish that time you'd be in the top ten so that's that race time put to bed! Then I saw there were quite a few DNFs and even more DNSs. I vow to not be either of these.

Unfortunately the race forum is down so I had to rely on Runners World - that very cliquely place where someone's always having a rant. And I learned that many many people get lost, that there are hills and you will ultimately get lost and have to jump over a fence. Worse I may have to trust in other people's sense of direction.

So now I am planning to be out there anything from six to eight hours. That's like a working day. A flight to another continent. A birthing labour period.

Exhale.

For those interested in numbers, my longest training run this year to date is 35km at 3:42 averaging at 6:20 pace - and not a negative split. I'll try and run this Sunday's 40km at 6:30 in the first half to see if I can finish stronger...

Cheering from the sidelines

I get a tremendous amount of support from the twitter running community, something I've stated on this blog before. I've never been a member of a running club, so I can't compare it. But everyone is really friendly and no one has never annoyed me and you get lots of great running advice, support cheering and everything. All in 140 characters. Tis awesome.

I've had a couple of days off twitter and it's actually been really difficult to get motivation especially when I am this stage of my training (one week till taper). I really miss knowing how many people are out there, getting up early, eating carbs, getting stuck in sports bras, having fun, feeling elated and all the other highs and lows of running.

Anyway I was very grateful that in my twitter exile a friend said they would do a certain amount of exercise at the same point I would do my run, and another is going to run their first 15km the day I run 50km.

Hooray for being all in it together.

Pushing the limits

I am surrounded by running p0rn. There's glass shelves full of trainers in front of me, gels and jelly beans to my left and behind me books on everything from how to get the most out of your heart rate monitor to a guide to races around the world. They could close on the door on me now and this could be all I need in life.

I'm at London's Run and Become to hear from three amazing athletes: Former Great Britain Ultra distance international champion (Adrian) Tarit Stott, multi-day race Abichal Sherrington and hill climb (cycling) champion Tejvan Pettinger. I'm struck by how unusual their names are and while I was previously inclined to think that's a Celtic/Gaelic thing, I found out later that Tejvan is a name given to him by his spiritual teacher, Sri Chiminoy - and that's a link to all three, as well as their amazing achievements. Run and Become was founded by Chiminoy and if I have this the right way round, he was an advocate of achieving spirituality through sport. Those of us on a long hard run can probably relate to that. There's a whole load of blogs and information about him and self transcendence out there; I won't talk about that too much as nicely the Run and Become folk didn't get all hippy on us either! But here's a little way that one of the guys described transcendence:

"when you're in a place where you don't have to deal with things on a day to day basis and became more aware of the core of what you are"

Anyway here's some of the random snippets these guys said that I wanted to share:

On encountering difficulties:

"Each problem you have has a source, find the source and find the solution. If you can't resolve the problem you need to reach a state of mind where you can deal with that problem whatever comes up."

"Have a mantra you can repeat to yourself. Use it to create an anchor point to create stillness so you can overcome the difficulties"

"Find a calm space (inside yourself) to deal with what is happening"

On going faster or harder:

"Keep a silent mind. Don't have any other thoughts. Controlled breathing. Focus your efforts 100% so that everything you are doing is devoted to going faster."

On race preparation:

"Get to the start in the best condition possible, the race will take care of itself."

On focus:

"Don't switch off and forget why you're there. Be in the moment."

On effort:

"Whether we are trying for our first 5km or our first 50km we are all pushing the limits."

On failure:

"There's no such thing as failure, only experience."

And finally

"Without a brain to react to deeper stimulus we are just a bag of bones and muscles. Use the brain"